| The discovery of breast cancer profoundly | | | | attend the support group for a while, but soon |
| affected all my relationships: husband, sons, close | | | | after my move it dispersed. A few years later I |
| and casual friends, co-workers, and bare | | | | experienced a recurrence of my breast cancer. |
| acquaintances. Unless those folks had experienced | | | | Since no conveniently located support group |
| it themselves, they could not possibly | | | | existed in this area, I joined an online group |
| comprehend the emotions and perceptions with | | | | through the Association of Cancer Online |
| which I grappled. Finding a breast cancer support | | | | Resources. This forum (known as ACOR) |
| group was essential to my psyche, to my | | | | provided invaluable information and tips beyond |
| well-being. | | | | what I could glean from the Internet or various |
| My quest to find understanding soul mates ended | | | | books about recurrences. I found that treatments |
| when I joined a breast cancer support group for | | | | for breast cancer had changed substantially since |
| younger women after my first chemotherapy | | | | my earlier encounter with chemotherapy. In |
| infusion. We met at the local hospital with a | | | | particular, it seemed important to update myself |
| trained facilitator. At the time I was 43 and | | | | on the latest targeted biological drugs. |
| thought myself too old, but my Christian friend, | | | | I was diagnosed with my recurrence and being |
| diagnosed a few months earlier, convinced me to | | | | treated with chemotherapy before one such drug, |
| go because I had young children ranging in age | | | | Herceptin, was approved for treating early-stage |
| from 3 to 11. | | | | breast cancer. |
| The sessions were therapeutic for a newly | | | | After its approval, about 14 women got together |
| diagnosed woman. We shared our ups and downs | | | | in Bakersfield, California to begin their one-year |
| and the inappropriate words people said to us | | | | Herceptin infusions as a group. Calling themselves |
| during our ordeals. Tips on caring for ourselves | | | | HER2 Sisterhood, the women typically sat in a |
| during treatment were invaluable. Insurance | | | | corner of the infusion area. Not only did they tell |
| hassles were discussed. The group was mostly | | | | stories and jokes about their "chemo brain" and |
| secular, but two of us Christians found | | | | weight challenges, but they also gossiped and |
| opportunities to talk about our faith. | | | | vented their frustrations over the daily grinds of |
| As we were completing our treatments we | | | | shaving legs and paying taxes. |
| sensed that we had outgrown the need for a | | | | I have found that support groups are generally |
| clinical setting. We decided to assemble at a | | | | useful, but the commonality that brings the |
| member's home once every few months instead | | | | members together in the first place doesn't last. |
| of meeting at the hospital every two weeks. | | | | The groups tend to disband or splinter into smaller |
| What a pleasant change from the sterile | | | | units. I myself have found I fell away unless I |
| environment of a conference room! I did feel | | | | shared other interests of group members, or was |
| some remorse at leaving the "official" group led | | | | led to help new members. |
| by the facilitator, as I was no longer in a position | | | | In addition to support groups, chat rooms, |
| to help others who were newly diagnosed. But we | | | | discussion groups, social networks, and blogs, I |
| all have to decide how we will spend our valuable | | | | benefited from professional and lay counseling. |
| time, and I still had a husband and three young | | | | People outside my breast cancer support group |
| sons at home to consider. | | | | who helped me during my struggles included |
| At some point I realized that too much time | | | | nurses, unexpectedly helpful acquaintances, |
| away from my sons represented more than just | | | | long-lost relatives, and complete strangers. Such |
| my getting self-help for cancer-related needs. The | | | | people can become friends for life, perhaps as |
| extra time was turning into a period of | | | | close as those we already have. |
| self-absorption. Was I setting up my own City of | | | | Social isolation need not follow from a cancer |
| Pity? As a result, I made sure to spend special | | | | diagnosis. Find a breast cancer support group |
| time with them, including playing board and card | | | | through local hospitals, clinics, and the Internet. |
| games, watching movies with them, and just | | | | Help is only a phone call or click away. Let your |
| listening to how they spent their days and what | | | | fingers do the clicking through the Google pages, |
| was important to them. | | | | and see how God will meet your needs. |
| After we moved to a rural community, God led | | | | He certainly met mine! |
| our family to a loving church. I continued to | | | | |