| Being diagnosed with breast cancer is a | | | | "Why me? I don't deserve this! I don't have time |
| life-changing event. A torrent of feelings wash | | | | or money to deal with this!" Anger, if not |
| over the survivor. Suddenly, the world feels like | | | | expressed, is the most insidious of all emotions. In |
| an unsafe place. Little things seem unimportant to | | | | itself, repressed anger can create disease. Having |
| the survivor. And the big things, like life, seem | | | | a healthy outlet for these feelings needs to be |
| tenuous. Knowing the emotional responses she is | | | | part of the breast cancer patient's treatment |
| experiencing will help friends, family and fellow | | | | program. |
| survivors support and nurture her, and each | | | | 6. Resentment |
| other. She needs to be encouraged to fully feel | | | | " I'm not the one this should be happening to! I |
| and express each of her feelings. | | | | eat well, exercise, get mammograms, take |
| The most helpful thing you can do is "just stand | | | | vitamins! Why should I have to suffer with this |
| there" while she goes through the range of | | | | disease!" Often there is no logical explanation for |
| emotions. Often we try to "fix" or stop the flow | | | | the onset of cancer. It's natural that feelings of |
| of feelings so we don't experience the pain and | | | | resentment may arise. |
| discomfort. But transformation and healing occur | | | | 7. Loneliness |
| when feelings are felt and honored, not when | | | | "No one ever is here for me. I'm all alone. I have |
| they are repressed or denied. | | | | no friends I can count on. I feel so alone!" Even |
| Here are some emotions you might witness: | | | | when family and friends are around to help, often |
| 1. Shock and Disbelief | | | | survivors feel isolated and alone. They are unable |
| "There must be some mistake. It can't be | | | | to ask for the help they want and need. |
| happening to me! I'm healthy. I take care of | | | | 8. Sadness |
| myself!" Disbelief is one of the most prevalent | | | | Sadness prevails when any loss is imminent. Tears |
| first emotional responses. | | | | may flow profusely as the loss of precious body |
| 2. Overwhelm | | | | parts is contemplated. The thought of further |
| Breast cancer survivors are faced with many | | | | illness from chemo treatments may seem |
| critical decisions. Often there is a time pressure to | | | | unbearable. She needs gentle comfort and |
| make treatment decisions. It helps to have | | | | frequent reassurance. |
| support with research about traditional, alternative | | | | 9. Misunderstood |
| and complementary treatment options. | | | | She may feel that nobody is listening or really |
| 3. Fear | | | | understands her. In actuality, no one else can |
| "Am I going to die? Will I be disfigured? Will you | | | | really understand what she is going through. Every |
| still love me? Will I love myself?" These are the | | | | person's experience is unique. Honor her and her |
| major questions hovering in the dark recesses of | | | | uniqueness. Give her space to express her |
| the survivor's mind. It helps tremendously to bring | | | | feelings and thoughts. |
| them up for discussion. | | | | 10. Hopefulness |
| 4. Worry | | | | Seen as a learning opportunity, the breast cancer |
| "How sick will I be? Who will take care of the | | | | experience could create a feeling of hope for an |
| children? How will I deal with loss of income? Will I | | | | entirely new and different life, one filled with |
| lose my job?" Once the first wave of personal | | | | passion, fulfillment, joy and love. Knowing that life |
| survival questions are dealt with, these questions | | | | is ongoing, and only the body dies, can give great |
| wear on the survivor's mind. | | | | comfort during this otherwise stressful time. |
| 5. Anger | | | | Copyright 2005 Dr. |