| Shock, disbelief and a sense of unreality. Is this | | | | anxieties can be disabling - making it difficult to |
| really happening to me? These are some of the | | | | accept help and care. |
| commonest reactions on first receiving a cancer | | | | Loss of control over your body can make you |
| diagnosis, along with anxiety - concerns and fears | | | | feel powerless, vulnerable and helpless. It generally |
| about the future and whether the cancer can be | | | | takes time to regain a sense of autonomy - so |
| treated. And the ultimate fear - will I die? Such | | | | that you can think clearly again, ask questions, |
| anxieties are completely normal and are part of | | | | voice feelings and make decisions. Some people |
| our inbuilt response to serious challenges. | | | | worry that talking about their fears may |
| Anxiety can help us to focus our energies and | | | | somehow increase the risk of them coming true. |
| mobilise our resources. But when it is intense, it | | | | In fact, being able to name your fears and |
| can have a paralysing effect. Many people report | | | | anxieties usually lessens their impact. |
| that their concentration and thinking is affected. | | | | But people vary in the amount of information |
| This is quite normal, and is a protective withdrawal | | | | they want about cancer. So it is important for |
| mechanism, giving you time to adjust. But it can | | | | family, friends and health professionals to be |
| make it difficult to remember things that medical | | | | aware of - and respect - a person's way of |
| staff say to you, so it is often helpful to have | | | | coping. |
| someone with you who can later help you | | | | People with cancer sometimes go into a 'crisis |
| remember what was said, or ask questions. | | | | management' frame of mind, which can help them |
| Anxiety may intensify as the reality of the | | | | to hold themselves together during a difficult time. |
| situation becomes clearer - everything may seem | | | | It may feel as if everything else is 'on hold' until |
| uncertain, and uncertainty can be one of the | | | | treatment has finished. Many people are puzzled if |
| hardest things to deal with. Previously, you may | | | | they feel more anxious or depressed when their |
| have felt more or less 'safe' in your body. After | | | | treatment has finished. This may be due to fears |
| being told you have cancer, this sense of safety | | | | of recurrence - but, more usually, it is about |
| may be shaken. The world may suddenly feel | | | | dealing with the backlog of emotions that have |
| threatening, and the resulting anxiety may prompt | | | | been put 'on hold'. |
| a whole range of unfamiliar feelings. Some people | | | | Although many people with cancer are |
| feel angry or resentful - perhaps asking 'Why did | | | | successfully treated, the ultimate anxiety for |
| this happen to me?' - others may feel guilty. | | | | most people is death. Once again, talking about |
| Ideally, it helps to have some time to adjust. But | | | | fears associated with death can help. Many people |
| when early treatment is proposed, it can be | | | | are more afraid of the process of dying than of |
| helpful to have some opportunity - such as a | | | | the thought of being dead. It can be a big relief to |
| counselling session or a chat with a friend or | | | | acknowledge and discuss concerns with medical |
| cancer nurse - to express fears and anxieties. | | | | staff, counsellors, family and friends - so that, as |
| Each person develops his or her own particular | | | | far as possible, everything is done to support |
| coping mechanism to deal with the situation. This | | | | your needs. |
| varies a great deal, depending on the personality, | | | | Whatever an individual's circumstances, and |
| support (such as family, friends or medical staff) | | | | whether the eventual outcome is recovery or |
| and previous experience of traumatic | | | | death, many people benefit from having the time, |
| circumstances. One common coping mechanism is | | | | space and support to deal with their anxieties. |
| denial or avoidance - this gives a way for | | | | Rather than becoming emotionally paralysed, it |
| someone to gradually take in and make sense of | | | | may be possible to regain a sense of equilibrium |
| what might otherwise be overwhelming. But the | | | | and to gather inner and outer resources that can |
| extreme of this - total denial - can be very | | | | be deeply sustaining in times of need. |
| difficult for everyone to cope with. Unvoiced | | | | |