| Cancer patients' friends and families often feel | | | | conversations. Some will want to vent and need |
| helpless and at a loss as to what to do when | | | | you to listen, while others may want a respite |
| they learn of a loved one's diagnosis. While they | | | | from their reality and want to hear about your |
| mean well and want to help, often they are as | | | | life. |
| thrown as the person receiving the diagnosis | | | | 4. Offer to accompany your friend or relative to |
| when they learn that someone close to them has | | | | their doctor's appointments. Many medical |
| cancer. | | | | associations encourage this because they realize |
| As a 10-year cancer survivor and also someone | | | | that patients aren't always in the best head space |
| whose Mom, Dad, two aunts, and Grandpa have | | | | to ask what needs to be asked, or for that |
| received cancer diagnoses, I don't know what's | | | | matter to be relied upon to interpret what's just |
| more challenging: to be the one diagnosed or to | | | | been said. |
| learn a loved one or friend is now a cancer | | | | 5. Stay available; don't disappear because of your |
| patient. As a cancer patient, your job is clear to | | | | discomfort with cancer. Many people reach out at |
| follow whichever course of treatment you decide | | | | the time of diagnosis and then disappear. When a |
| upon and then regain your health. As a friend or | | | | friend or relative is diagnosed with cancer it's our |
| loved one, your roles and responsibilities are less | | | | opportunity to become our best selves so that |
| clear. | | | | we can help them in their hour of need. By paying |
| Staggeringly high cancer statistics -- The Canadian | | | | it forward, some day someone will help you when |
| Cancer Society's report, Canadian Cancer Stats | | | | you need it most. |
| 2009, states that 40 per cent of Canadian | | | | 6. Offer to be the point person for communicating |
| women and 45 per cent of Canadian men will be | | | | the cancer patient's status and progress. People |
| diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime -- | | | | facing a life threatening illness need to put their |
| makes figuring out how to help our family and | | | | precious resources into their treatment, and might |
| friends after their cancer diagnosis more | | | | not have the energy to keep their network in the |
| important than ever. Doing one or all of the | | | | loop. |
| following seven steps will decrease some of the | | | | 7. Don't be a Pollyanna about the patient's situation |
| stress of a cancer diagnosis. | | | | and conversely, don't repeat many people's |
| | | | mistaken premise that people cause their illness. A |
| 1. Ask the cancer patient what you can do to | | | | cancer patient has enough to deal with without |
| help. Different patients have different needs. | | | | adding guilt into the mix. Every person with cancer |
| Some will appreciate having meals delivered, | | | | has unique needs and requirements for assistance. |
| others having childcare arranged. | | | | How much help is needed, and when, will vary |
| 2. If your friend or loved one seems hesitant to | | | | from person to person. But the thing that is |
| ask, consider your schedule, your special talents | | | | constant is the need for community, for people |
| and abilities and make them an offer they can't | | | | who can help the patient feel that they are more |
| refuse. | | | | than their diagnosis and that they'll get through |
| 3. Let the cancer patient set the agenda for your | | | | this. |