| For some, a diagnosis of cancer evokes | | | | cancer. |
| frightening images of unpleasant treatments and | | | | We agreed I would think about what he had told |
| unwanted results. For others, it evokes a surreal | | | | me and he would come back the next day to |
| state of numbness, as if they are no longer a | | | | answer my questions. |
| part of this world. No matter how one reacts | | | | Before he'd arrived that day, a friend dropped a |
| emotionally to their diagnosis, one question and | | | | book off for me to read. It was about surviving |
| one question alone emerges almost immediately. | | | | cancer treatment with the use of meditation and |
| "Doctor, what are my chances?" | | | | guided imagery. I had no experience with those |
| The desire to know the doctor's belief concerning | | | | techniques, but was open to learning about them, |
| our probable fate is of overriding importance. | | | | as by now I was searching for any support in |
| I know. I've been there. | | | | dealing with the threat before me. |
| Naturally, we want to hear there's a 100% cure; | | | | I was not yet convinced by the doctor's |
| but most doctors can't and won't make us that | | | | statement concerning "scientific studies." After all, |
| promise. Still, the answer to the question is | | | | every person I had ever know or heard of with |
| typically phased as a percentage. | | | | cancer knew what their chances were. Perhaps |
| Fortunately, my doctor had a better answer. | | | | he just didn't want to tell me how desperate my |
| One January morning in 1998, my hip seemed to | | | | situation really was. I had practiced law for |
| catch as I swung my feet out of bed. The catch | | | | twenty years and was a skeptic. Without |
| wasn't debilitating. In fact, I played 9 holes of golf | | | | corroborating evidence, I did not believe. |
| that day. It never occurred to me the problem | | | | I turned to the book on the hospital tray for a |
| was anything other than a pulled muscle. | | | | needed a diversion and began to read. An entire |
| Yet, thirteen days later I found myself in a | | | | new world opened up. |
| hospital bed, recovering from exploratory surgery, | | | | I read about the mind/body connection and about |
| where masses of tumors had been found in | | | | medical doctors who believed in the healing power |
| lymph nodes in different parts of my body. The | | | | of hope and faith. I read success stories of people |
| surgeon had done nothing but sew me back up. | | | | who saw their treatments as opportunities for |
| The next day a new doctor, an oncologist, came | | | | survival, as opposed to dreaded ordeals. I read |
| by my hospital room, and I asked him the | | | | about finding one's true self and true healing. |
| question: "What are my chances?" | | | | And as I read, a deep-seated truth emerged. A |
| "I prefer not to talk in those terms," he replied. | | | | diagnosis is necessary for survival. A prognosis is |
| He explained that statistics come from studies | | | | not. The question I'd asked my doctor the night |
| that are usually a few years old, and that most | | | | before was one I didn't need answered. |
| could be considered outdated by the time they | | | | I had wanted statistics. I had wanted to know the |
| are published. And who was to say the factors | | | | odds. But I wasn't a statistic. None of us are. We |
| affecting the specific people in those studies were | | | | are each distinctly different human beings, and our |
| exactly like the factors present in my case? | | | | lives can only be impacted by statistics if we allow |
| I listened, but I wasn't sure I believed. I had | | | | ourselves to believe we are controlled by what |
| always heard people talk of survival in terms of | | | | may have happened to others. |
| chances, but I remained quiet as he continued. | | | | Through the wisdom of my doctor and the |
| He said my situation was serious. The tumors | | | | thoughtfulness of a friend with a book, my |
| were fused against vital arteries and attempting | | | | understanding of my destiny had been reshaped. |
| to remove them was risky as I might be lost on | | | | God made each of us as individuals, with the |
| the operating table. We needed to begin | | | | ability to have individual futures that are unique. If |
| treatment the following Monday (this was Friday). | | | | a diagnosis of cancer or some other life |
| We would mount an aggressive counterattack on | | | | threatening event is thrust upon, we are not |
| these renegade cells with high powered | | | | bound to despair. |
| chemotherapy and we would be working with one | | | | We have the God's permission to help shape our |
| of the best radiologists around. | | | | future, and the most destructive thing we can do |
| I was scared. I didn't want to think about the | | | | is believe otherwise. |
| treatment. I just wanted him to get rid of the | | | | Copyright © 2005 Alpha Ward-Burns. |